When Birth Doesn’t Go as Planned: Finding Peace in Plan B

Oct 15

By Lindsay Johnson, Christian Doula

Birth is a journey that can follow different paths. Sometimes these paths may look more crooked than straight. We make plans, pray over our desires, and prepare our hearts for the birth we hope for, yet sometimes, things unfold differently. Maybe your labor took a turn you didn’t expect, medical interventions became necessary, or your birth story looks nothing like the one you envisioned. When that happens, it’s easy to feel disappointment, guilt, or grief. I know first hand how this feels, as the birth of my first baby took many turns that were unexpected. I felt alone while experiencing every intervention that I was told I needed, however, nobody included me in any part of it. I was simply told what would happen. No informed consent, no benefits and risks were explained. I felt my voice during this vulnerable time had been taken and I was scared of what was happening. I struggled greatly in my postpartum period due to this, wondering if I could have done something differently to prevent all that had occurred. Many questions loomed in my head and tears flowed in the wee hours of the morning as I nursed my baby boy. It wasn’t until time began to heal and I realized that my story could make a difference; it could change the trajectory of many future births. This is when I realized my doula calling. Years later I see the purpose in it all, and while that birth brought me to a place of brokenness, I wouldn’t change anything about it. If you have felt this way about a previous birth and are anxious abut the next (this was me), or, if this is your first birth and you are struggling with thoughts of what is to come, be assured that every detail that forms your birth story is for an important purpose that will later unfold.

Hear’s the truth: God is still present in Plan B. Even when our birth plans shift, His purpose never does. He’s not surprised by the detours, the changes, or the moments that feel out of control. In those tender spaces of surrender, His peace can meet us in a way that’s deeper and more powerful than we imagined.

Proverbs 16:9 – “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

You did everything right by preparing, praying, and trusting — but ultimately, your steps were guided by the One who sees the full picture.

Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Even when things don’t go as planned, God is weaving beauty and purpose into your story.

Isaiah 26:3 – “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.”

Peace isn’t found in control — it’s found in surrender.

As a doula, I remind mothers that a change in the birth plan does not mean failure. Birth requires courage, and it takes even greater courage to trust God in the unknown. Your strength is not measured by how your birth unfolds, but by the love, surrender, and faith you carry through it.

If your birth didn’t go the way you hoped, take time to honor your feelings and reflect on the sacred moments that still existed — the first cry, the first touch, the moment life entered your arms. Know that your story will impact your path and the path of someone, someday.

Plan A may have shifted, but Plan B can still be beautiful — because peace isn’t found in the plan, it’s found in His presence.